Do you believe Santa Claus? Do you think you could be on the naughty list or the nice list this year? Are you expecting a lump of coal in your stocking for Christmas. Only Santa knows for sure.
You are probably on the naughty list if you have done some of these things more than once:
- You did not wash your hands after using a public restroom – does not count if they were out of soap.
- You sneak food and/or drinks into the movie theatre, especially alcoholic drinks.
- You lied to your husband about how you spent the grocery money, where you were last night, or faked an orgasm.
- You let out a silent, deadly fart in public even though you firmly believe it is not healthy to hold them in.
- You borrowed borrowed money from your parents or friends and have no intention of paying it back.
- You always tell the Salvation Army Christmas bell ringers that you do not carry cash.
- You butt in line at the buffet or grocery store check out.
- You left without leaving a tip for your waitress even if you thought she was dumb as a box of rocks.
- You cuss at other drivers, tailgate, and call them a stupid jack a$$.
- You lie about how busy you are instead of just saying no to get out of social obligations. A little white lie is still a lie.
Shame on you. Santa is shaking his head when he thinks about you. You might want to think about cleaning up your act. Being naughty is fun but it not very rewarding.
You are probably on the nice list if you do most of these things most of the time:
- You pay your bills every month on or before the date they are due.
- You always separate your dark and light clothes before laundering.
- You see a dentist regularly and show up early for your appointment.
- You avoid the temptation to pick your zits.
- You give sincere compliments.
- You practise courtesy. You hold the door open for other people. You say please, thank you, and you are welcome.
- You do not pick your nose in public or scratch your private areas.
- You avoid drunk Facebooking and drunk phone calling.
- You take responsibility for your mistakes and you do not blame others for your shortcomings.
- You volunteer at the pet shelter, nursing home, hospital, or food pantry.
Good job. You are a kind and responsible adult. Your parents should be proud. You might be a little boring but you have a great heart. You are definitely on the good list. Santa loves good people like you. You will have a very happy Christmas.
If you do not believe in Santa, you are on the naughty list. Santa is real. Here is proof that Santa really does exist:
1. You can send him a letter at this mailing address: Santa Claus, Santa Claus Main Post Office,FI-96930 Arctic Circle, FINLAND
2. You can text him at 844-YO-SANTA (844-967-2682).
3. You can email Santa at https://www.emailsanta.com.
4. You can track Santa’s Christmas Eve journey on google maps: https://santatracker.google.com/village.html.
5. There is scientific proof that Santa exists on you-tube: “Scientific Proof That Santa Exists”.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Have yourself a merry little Christmas!!!